never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize