i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
