My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
