Its about making memories worth repressing
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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