You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
