Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
