i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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