I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
