no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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