You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
