HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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