Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
