I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
