i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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