after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He did a backflip because drugs
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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