Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
