Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
