I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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