he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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