I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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