Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
