the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
