Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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