i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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