I will die if light touches me.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
