i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
