Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
