well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I can't put those talents on a resume
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
