85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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