Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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