I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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