I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize