If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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