Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
