If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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