Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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