You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
