When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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