Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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