3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
