Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
