he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
