Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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