dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
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The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
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Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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