Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize