No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
