He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
