that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
