Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
