So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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