it wasn't lemon gatorade
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize