So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
