This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
