i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize