Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
