I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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