And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
