I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
