I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
