that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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